When G and I stayed at The Connaught over Christmas we were told that Sketch (+sketch) was a really fantastic place for Afternoon Tea so we made a booking for last Saturday for G, one of his friends and little old me to see what all the fuss was about.
For starters, never agree to meet anyone at Oxford Circus tube station, honestly, if you are going to designate a meeting place for boys please make it outside the front of the Apple shop – every guy can find the Apple shop but no, G had other ideas. I’m not going to moan as G was very patient when I had to return the previous weeks purchases back to Zara, okay actually thinking about it I can moan as G wanted to visit Ambercombie & Fitch – the most horrible store in the universe which I hate but he loves!
We eventually arrived at Sketch and were seated in a very loud room where all the Afternoon Teas are served and shown to a very small table for three people. My initial feeling was that they were trying to squeeze in as many people as possible to rake in the cash.
Our table was right by the kitchen entrance / exit point – really great as I got knocked constantly and then got hit in the head by waiting staff carrying the 3 tier cake stands while only getting an apology once, needless to say I was saying to myself this Afternoon Tea had bloody be good as the location of our table was terrible; it should have been for two customers not three.
We all ordered the classic Afternoon Tea, obviously mine was gluten free.
The boys Afternoon Tea looked really good and had a great selection of pastries which were all fully described by the waiter. Hmm pity the same couldn’t be said for mine – the sandwiches were apparently the same as the normal Afternoon Tea and he couldn’t tell me what the pastries were, his words not mine – apparently I would find out what they were when I ate them. Yep was really feeling the love!
As always I started with sandwiches and almost broke a tooth! The bread was so hard even a bird wouldn’t touch it – G tried it as I can be a drama queen and he agreed that it was stale. On informing the waiter when we asked for the bill he said that’s the problem with gluten free bread, its always hard – hmmm NO!
The scone was okay, heads up you only get one. Every classic Afternoon Tea I have ever been served you get two – what is up with just one? Have to say the jam was tasteless as well, no flavour. It just tasted cheap and nasty.
So onto the pastries which weren’t actually pastries – they were little tubs of fruit and jellies with lots of cream and flowers on top and a chocolate mousse. One tasted absolutely disgusting – like medicine you had to take when you were a child, it was gross and that is me been nice and polite!
For £40 each there are a lot better establishments to visit and enjoy Afternoon Tea. If you are on a Gluten Free diet, AVOID Sketch like the plague and spend the £40 on a new pair of shoes instead!
The toilets that everyone raves about were very funky however this didn’t make up for the bad service or the quality of the food.
Expect to pay for everything including the water that comes to your table which is normally complimentary, there will be £1 placed on your bill for a charity that I had to ask what this related too as there was nothing provided with the bill about the charity donation, if you want another pot of tea there is an additional charge for this and there are no refills at all.
We ended up in the Coburg Bar at The Connaught, enjoying a few drinks and eating bowls of crisps which was so much more enjoyable!
xx
