Around the World in 80 Pairs of Shoes


May 15, 2013

My 28 Day Hormone Diet including Sugar Detox Side Effects

I’m going to say that my hormones have left me pretty darn crazy…FACT!  I work with a number of men and I think it’s safe to say that all of them are afraid of dealing with the wrath of Kelly…actually one of them said those exact words a few weeks ago.  So I decided to try the 28 day hormone diet which included a Sugar Detox…I’m a sugar monster so you can just imagine how hard this was for me.


^^I’m guessing this bird doesn’t have period problems!

One of the ladies at work actually suggested I try the hormone diet; it’s a diet that helps ladies going through “the change”…I’m not going through the change of life but as my periods are horrendous (the Esmya tablets didn’t help one bloody bit..actually my periods are worse now!), my PMS is appalling (I don’t have any tolerance and would love to kill most people who even look at me) and I’m suffering from chronic exhaustion all the time…walking up the flight of stairs at home makes me dizzy – I was rather willing to give anything a try.

Weight loss for me was a by-product, I just wanted to get my moods and exhaustion under control and then possibly I would have more energy for exercise and hopefully remember how to smile again.


^^For some reason Mickey Mouse has a smile on his face even though he has a giant Christmas Tree stuck up his bottom…I would be plotting someone’s murder!

So the diet…

It’s all rather simple…nothing is allowed to be processed…it’s all natural…which isn’t that difficult as you would think once you get your head around what you can and can’t eat.  No sugar, no gluten, no wheat…it’s actually quite doable and I was doing the no gluten thing anyway!

Breakfast consisted of Lemon Juice with Hot Water then proper Greek Yoghurt with Nuts…apparently you’re meant to soak your nuts so your body can digest them easily but trust me, I don’t have time to play with nuts at the best of times…so my nuts never got any foreplay action and were just tossed on top of my yoghurt before I had my wicked way with them at my desk.

Lunch consisted of Falafel, Hummus and Salad and sometimes left overs from the night before if I couldn’t face making my lunch before heading to work.

Snacks were a strange thing…the first two weeks I didn’t feel the need to snack and then week 3, I wanted to snack every day and that’s where the Nakd Bars came in handy…gluten free, dairy free and vegan these bars filled a gap and were blooming nice.  I actually went on to make my own Nakd Bars (recipe here)….I didn’t have time to soak my nuts but I had plenty of time to get naked with some prunes.

Dinner consisted of meat and vegetables…basically whatever tickled my fancy each night.  We ate a lot of sweet potatoes…a lot!  As you can’t eat rice, pasta or potatoes, I did find things started to get a bit limited recipe wise by the end of the 28 days however I started to have a love affair with sweet potatoes…I’m thinking of buying shares in a sweet potato farm as I’m eating so many of the darn things.

So Sweet Potatoes…told you I couldn’t get enough of them!

I wasn’t a fan of sweet potatoes before trying this hormone diet…they were okay…but I was never going to marry a sweet potato…I would marry a roast potato and have it’s babies if my hormones decided to play ball.

What I didn’t realise was just how great sweet potatoes are for your health…they’re full of vitamins, they help you sleep and they regulate your blood sugars hence they are fabulous when you’re on a sugar detox diet.  Trust me these little tikes helped me give up sugar…never under estimate a sweet potato folks!

There are side effects…apparently if you eat too many you can look like you’ve spent a month in the Maldives…I was looking forward to this side effect as I’m purple like Barney the Dinosaur however a month later, I still resemble Barney.

The Sugar Detox Side Effects

Skin – my skin has brightened and a number of my wrinkles have disappeared…as the lady said to me at work…I look years younger and I’m glowing and I can definitely see the difference when I look in the mirror.  I don’t look so puffy in the face anymore.

Eyes – my eyes are sparkling which is always good…I have a load more energy to get up to mischief which always makes my eyes sparkle…I like to create awkward situations in the office.

Sleep – Strangely even though I’m suffering from chronic exhaustion, I could never fall asleep when I needed too and would be still counting sheep at 3am in the morning…I should really learn to count kittens rather than sheep as I’m afraid of sheep but I digress.  Now I don’t know if this is due to the sweet potatoes or a sugar detox side effect but as soon as my head hits the pillow I’m asleep right through to my alarm going off.

Tiredness – Within days my exhaustion levels had lifted and I had more energy and wasn’t falling asleep at my desk (the joys of having a major iron deficiency)…nothing else had changed apart from diet so I’m going to put it all down to this hormone diet and removing sugar from my diet.

Tolerance – I have a lot more tolerance towards people and I started to smile rather than thinking of ways of how to murder them whenever someone approached me.  I think the tolerance goes hand in hand with tiredness.  Funnily enough…some people at work got worried when I started smiling…they’re used to my scowl and rather blunt way with words!


^^Never leave weapons out on a lawn when a woman is in the throws of PMS!

Hunger Pains – Once I stopped eating sugar I lost a number of my hunger pains…I used to eat to stay awake but once I stopped drinking sugary drinks and foods my body didn’t crave any additional food other than my three meals a day plus a nakd bar here and there…once I had lunch I didn’t feel the need to eat three chocolate bars any more.

Taste Buds – my taste buds changed within days…the Nakd bars that I talked about above, well I hated them just over a year ago when I first tried them but now they taste better than chocolate…you can wash my mouth out!

Bloating – I noticed as soon as I had anything with sugar my stomach would become extremely bloated…stop eating sugar and my tummy was almost flat…a flat tummy and IBS don’t really go in the same sentence but my bloating definitely reduced.

IBS Pains – I had no IBS pains while on the hormone diet and I’m not sure if it was the food that helped or removing the sugar from my diet but I’ve had a few chocolate bars and sweets over the past two days and my IBS is killing me to the point that I can’t sit down due to the cramps.

Eating Sugar – I won’t lie…I did eat sugar twice during the 28 days and there were some rather unpleasant side effects.  Any processed sugary food just went straight through me, it made me tired and gave me a rather bad headache plus you could see that I had eaten sugar by looking at how puffy my skin became.


^^Sugar overload and questionable fashion choices on a Sunday in Bedfordshire!

Weight Loss – now any weight loss was a by product and I can’t really say how it went as my weight fluctuates constantly however I had three weeks of weight loss in a row and then a gain which was hormone related.

So did it help my hormones

Well…I’m not sure to be honest…my periods are weird at the best of times.  I had two periods while doing the hormone periods normally last for approx. 10 days…the first one was only for 7 days which was a nice change…hello getting three days of my life back…and then I bypassed all my usual PMS symptoms and got my period again a week later…yeah a week between periods isn’t fun however once again it was only 6 days long this time so I think the hormone diet is definitely helping things out in my lady bits.

I had no PMS symptoms at all…my boobies didn’t hurt, my moods were level, the 5 day headache didn’t appear and the extreme tiredness stayed away.  I actually felt normal for a change.

Breaking my sugar detox…with sugar!

I’ve eaten a lot of sugar over the past few days and my IBS and general mood isn’t that great…it’s amazing what processed food does to my body…you are what you eat!


^^But this was so good!

What’s next…

Well I have two afternoon tea dates with G this week so I will be in a sugar coma however what I’ve decided to do is to stick to the hormone diet as often as possible as I do feel so much better (I actually feel like the old Kelly) and if my periods continue to get shorter…well that can only be a good thing.

Yes it will probably mean there will be a lot less afternoon tea posts coming up and less sugary delights on instagram but hey that’s life!

Obviously I’m not a doctor and all above is just from my personal experience but if you fancy taking a look at the hormone diet please let me know and I can send you through the information…if you’re sick then definitely get checked out by a doctor.

So have you any tips on how to balance out hormones as I would love to hear them!


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